


Everything for the music

by VNVdarkangel



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, POV First Person, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26530651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VNVdarkangel/pseuds/VNVdarkangel
Summary: Yukina reflects.
Relationships: Imai Lisa/Minato Yukina
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Everything for the music

_Everything for the music._

That used to be my guiding phrase. It didn’t matter that I was alone. I was good enough to be alone. The music would be heard, I would reach the place the one before me couldn’t and I would do it alone.

At least, I thought that.

Then I realized I needed others to make it. I wasn’t good enough; I wasn’t strong enough. For many nights the realization haunted me. But if that was the sacrifice that needed to be made, I would make it. In the very beginning, she was along for the ride, but then life interfered and took her away from me. My safety net. I stopped smiling. My reason for it was gone. At the time I thought that the sacrifice was worth it, only later I understood that it was the first step in my own ruin of what I wanted to achieve. But I was prideful, certain of myself, believing that I was right and that the music would guide me, make me open the doors that remained closed to me, but it wasn’t to be.

I found another soul like myself. Uncompromising. Proud. Determined. A perfectionist. Her personal motivations were of no interest to me. Why should they? We excited solely to play music. We worked well together, we went places, but many doors still remained barred for us. A duo didn’t have the power to force them, no matter how brilliant we thought we were. Then she came. Little did I know that she had been watching me, looking out for me in ways I never was aware of. She had seen my smile go away and my eyes grow cold. She also saw the pain I pushed aside and my anger. And still she came back to me. For her, sacrifices needed to be made. She suffered. She powered through it, her goal: to see me smile again. She worked hard, harder than anyone to earn her place. Her hands, at one time a symbol of how a perfect hand should look, became scarred, nicks and cuts sometimes prompting more band-aids to be visible than skin. Somewhere inside, I was hurting when I saw that, but I pushed it away, convinced that it was just my own pain that I projected and that I felt pity. And pity would make me weak, so I buried it in my mind. Even her tears could not make me understand, only feeling confusing when I saw them ebb forth. Feeling confused and helpless I could only watch. Expanding our numbers further, the music took on life. No longer words on a page or a chord, it became an essence onto its own. Binding us, pulling us together.

It kept us going, but it also created hurt. We strove for perfection, devoted to our task, but to me everyone and everything was expendable, even my own reputation. I was zeroing in on my goal. It was almost in reach, but my true intentions were brought to light, not that I had hidden them. I had been clear with my goal. And that I would pay any price to reach it. They thought it was only words, a crack of a whip to keep the motivation going, but it was my honest thoughts. At least… then. An innocent question brought on more questions, doubts and everything fell apart. While I had seen them as the means for which to achieve my goal, to discard when I had reached it, what we had built had become a being in its own right, but I didn’t see it. To me, it was a bus, a train, a ram through all those doors I could never open myself. Nothing more. As it collapsed and my allies turned away, disheartened and disenchanted by me, she stayed. But this time, there were no band-aids to protect the scars that we could not see.

Like a house of cards caught in a hurricane, everything shattered. In my blind rage I turned to the only one that I thought would understand my methods but was promptly show that I was in error. I was alone. She was still with me, but without the bag strung to her back, I knew she was only there because she felt an obligation. The betrayal, all those years of repressed pain and my anger at the wrongs of other exploded and I cried. I cried for everything I had lost, for everything I had sacrificed, for everything since that moment my smile went away. It didn’t matter who saw me, who would care. I had betrayed trust, exploited and hurt people that saw me as an important part of their life, and I had gained nothing. I had lost it all.

Except for her, she stayed by my side and helped me let out everything that had tainted me, that had made me not see the worth of those around me. She helped me to crawl, to walk, to run again. I wanted it all back, still determined to reach my goal, but this time, no one was a stepping stone anymore, no one was expendable, they mattered. They all mattered. I had realized that now, and I was afraid it might be too late. She stayed by my side. My pride and single mindedness crushed, I fretted seeing everyone, seeing the hate that I rightfully deserved, seeing what I built destroyed by my own foolishness. But I was wrong. So wrong. I was welcomed back, my behaviour forgiven and what we were was no more. We evolved together, stepping out from the shadow that had been my vanity. We all became better: I became better.

I took a chance, no longer afraid of defeat, my feelings now comprehended. One night, as we stood underneath the stars, I told her my feelings. I asked if she would accept them and allow me to stay by her side. After some tears, she told me that my feelings were reciprocated. She was happy, I was happy. We held hands, we kissed, and my smile returned to me. Everything since then I owe to her in part, my compatriots have become my friends, my life is no longer filled with bottled-up pain. Our determination is focused, our sound is our own, our will united. With determination and devotion to our goals and to each other we have not and will not falter. We are strong because we are united, I am strong because of her.

As we take our steps towards the future, we will all face hardship, doubts and challenges. But together, and with the support of our peers pushing us to constantly better ourselves, to evolve, we will overcome them.  
Today, when the door to our shared apartment opens, I will ask her an important question, maybe the most important questions since that night under the stars.

My name is Minato Yukina. And today I will ask Imai Lisa to share her life with me.

**Author's Note:**

> First 1st person PoV that I've written... ever I think. I have no real idea if I'm doing it right of if it's just weird. I usually write LL and AUs so this is abit out of my comfort zone having briefly dipped into Bandori earlier.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated, anything to help me get better at this.


End file.
